It's always seemed smart for me to play my emotional cards very close to the vest. I don't like to have a lot of people knowing what's going on in my head, and certainly not in my heart. It's earned me a reputation as a lot of things: cold-hearted, mean, ugly, or lesbian. The truth was that I was always just as man-crazy as any other girl, but it was so painfully clear to me from my earliest memories that I was not meant for a great love that I just played it off as unimportant to me. It was the picture of self-preservation.
I know a number of single people---particularly single women who mourn the apparent fact that there are no good men left in the world. They are all married, or spoiled rotten by an overabundance of available women, or they are gay, or they have so much baggage they need a porter to follow them around every minute. I've mulled this over with girlfriends for....about 30 years now. Yes, I've dated, but largely they were missing something required to meet the "good" requirement; "perfect" was completely out of the question. And I was stupid enough to look for one when I didn't really believe I could HAVE a good one. In fact, I couldn't even tell you what I was looking for. When I was asked from time to time, I could never, ever even picture the perfect man for me to save my very life.
Then, without warning, that pattern was broken by what I can only call divine design. I found not just a good man, but a great one, and as I was often told would happen, I found him right in my very own church---although we had been sitting on opposite sides for a number of years.
His name is Galen, and he is the best of men: kind, thoughtful, funny, and real. You know how you can always tell the true character of a person by how they treat the wait staff in a restaurant? He is the perfect example. In fact, one of his pet peeves is the public treating waiters and waitresses poorly. No one ever seems to set him off or make him impatient. The worst he might say is that the person might be distracted or just having a bad day. He smiles, thanks them, tips them, and is considerate of clearing out so they can seat more people, making more tips in the process. He's also one of those people (unlike me) who are born huggers, usually from the first time he meets people. Some use that as a trick to disarm others and win their trust too easily, but he is 100% genuine.
G is a gentleman in a way that is almost old-fashioned now but so very charming. I never have to open my door when we take his car, and that is literally a first for me. In the past I always thought it was kind of odd when I saw other men do that, but I understand it and appreciate it wholly now. Before it seemed to say, "Oh, let me get that for you, you poor thing," but now it feels like, "Let me show you that you matter to me." I LOVE that. He sent me flowers after our first date, one of the hallmarks of a gentleman in my mind. But he has sent them on other occasions too, including once when I'd had a very difficult week this spring.
One of the things I love best about Galen is that though he appears quiet and very soft-spoken, he has a quick wit and a gift for comebacks. He makes me laugh with his mock-grandiose comments; the first one I remember followed a statement I made that complimented his complexion and how he could wear the color he had on better than anyone I knew. He replied, "Oh, you know, I look good in any color, really----and I'm humble, too." It caught me off guard, so I stay on the lookout now for any openings I give him for smart-aleck remarks, but he still pulls them off.
There is no way I could underscore Galen's spiritual similarities to mine enough. I've always struggled with figuring out how to make a humble spirituality make sense to others---and he is exactly the same. We don't believe in passing judgment on others for their beliefs, we don't believe that one cookie cutter fits the whole world, and we both DO consider ourselves Christians who should primarily be concerned with our individual relationships with God, not anyone else's. Nothing in my relationships has ever come close to that. Believe me, it's not lost on me what a blessing this is.
The things about G that I admire the most are the things that few people are usually aware of. He used to be a lay chaplain, and he still serves those he ministered to by seeing them, having lunch with them, or speaking with them on a fairly regular basis. He's modern enough to think that women shouldn't be forced by society or societal pressure to take their husband's last names, but he's still traditional enough to enjoy being a gentleman. He works seven days a week most weeks, a work ethic you know I appreciate if you know my family at all---but he can relax and enjoy his time if he doesn't have to work. He always seems to be singing; he may have more songs in his head than I do. He loves kids and dogs (cats maybe not so much, but I can overlook that little flaw :-) ), and I do believe Allie has him wrapped around her finger. She may be wrapped around his, too; it's very seldom that I see her anymore that she doesn't ask me first thing, "Where's you' boyfriend? Where's Ga-en?" What more ringing endorsement is there than that of the small children we love?
Tuesday is Galen's birthday; this is my little paean to his character, his strength, his heart and mind that are so good and true. We aren't perfect, but we're perfect for each other. Happy birthday, honey, with all my love. Here's to 51 more!
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