We all construct the narratives of our lives, often at the very moment we are living them out. "She stepped out of her car into the balmy night air, tossing a look over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming up behind her. The wind lifted her hair as she took long, deliberate strides to the side door of the building." Something like that---much more mundane, usually. Perhaps, if you're like me, you tend to glamorize whatever you're doing, much the same way my three-year-old self used to stand on the steps of the Methodist church across the street from our house and imagine myself in a flouncy, Loretta-Lynn style stage dress while I belted out country songs for the whole street.
It's interesting to see how those narratives play out when more than one person is involved. The two-sides-to-every-story cliche is so true that it's undeniable. Every teacher has seen a vast number of examples. "Buddy has a hard time focusing due to ADHD." (Buddy is either a comatose lump of teenager or a whirling dervish.) "She's just so social that schoolwork is a low priority." (She has not turned in an assignment in the last six weeks.) "Axl is brilliant." (Axl is a smart-ass.) "We don't let the kids have sugar." (The kids chug down two Mountain Dews, a Snickers, and a packet of powdered-sugar doughnuts at lunch just before my class every single day.) "Suzy loves to read." (Suzy gets very angry if she is given a book that is NOT of her choosing to read for class.) And so on. It's enlightening to see the two sides, and often hilarity ensues after the parental moment has passed and we don't have to keep a straight face. I've learned a world about two-sides differences this way. Hopefully, most of us try to operate in a little more realistic view of ourselves.
That's what I want to share with you in this blog, the last of the rigorous schedule of weekly blogs that I've posted for two years now. This blog makes 108---which doesn't actually compute from 52 weeks in a year, but at least I'm ahead in number and not behind. Anyway, the point is that I've learned so much about self-searching, honesty, and presenting myself in as true a light as I can draw. It's difficult, but not impossible, to bring myself to heel and really see who I am. Sometimes, I don't like it much; I'm vain but lazy in my logic and closed off to new ideas at times. Occasionally, a flash of inspiration strikes me and I'm pleased with what I'm able to capture. Rarely was it ever boring to try to put my thoughts into words, knowing that whether one person or a hundred read it, I would be accountable for what I sent out into the blogosphere. Always, always, I was surprised by part or even all of what I learned about myself.
No power on earth would have kept me on this weekly schedule for two years if I hadn't known that someone would notice if I slipped up and didn't post. I can't stand the thought of not following through, even if no one is watching. So if you were out there reading, especially if you were commenting, thank you for keeping me on the path. Thank you for reading even if you didn't comment; just knowing that I had a few people reading every week, and others that read once in a while, kept my motivation rolling.
This isn't the end of the blog. For one thing, I will still be posting from time to time when the mood and the muse strike. But more importantly, I hope you'll be inspired to write your own life, to learn about yourself for yourself or to share with your children or to sharpen your craft and your abilities. Even if you won't post it for the world to see, you could make it into a wonderful project for the future.
Most English teachers use the five steps in the writing process to teach composition: pre-writing, drafting, revising, editing, and publishing. That last step is a little misleading; it doesn't have to mean publishing for pay. It can be sharing with another person, keeping a "best" portfolio, preparing a booklet of best writing, submitting to the school newspaper, reading aloud....or posting on a blog (among others). I had not practiced the craft of writing regularly for more than 25 years, since I finished my Master's degree. Thanks to this blog, I've practiced all five of those steps 108 times. More importantly, I have the valuable insights that allowed me to see into my nature that I didn't have before I began writing
You should see yourself!
I'll be writing to you here sometime down the line and posting the links on Facebook. In the meantime....write on!
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