Happy Memory Day

Here's a confession:  I didn't know until I was in my 30s that Memorial Day was started as a remembrance for those who died in service to our country.  To me, it had always been Decoration Day; many family members would travel the state to decorate the graves of and memorialize our late relatives.  We put out flowers for Welkers in Pawnee, Skedee, and Adair, and for Browns, Yateses, and McCoys in Pryor.  It remains an annual pilgrimage with whoever can make the rounds.  Tomorrow, my mother and sister and I will do the honors for the eastern part of our clan.

I've noticed a trend in the last couple of years in the media: public service announcements reminding people that this holiday weekend is not just a time for picnics and camping.  Instead, or in addition, we should remember those who have served and died.  I could not agree more.  There is no way I'd ever have been functional in the military, but I have the utmost respect for them.  They have provided me with freedoms that I will never even realize, that we all take for granted on a regular basis, and that we can never repay to them or their descendants.

But I think this holiday down-time can be used on the opposite end of that equation just as successfully, and much more effectively than using the time only to think somberly of those who have gone before.  I learned this from my family, too:  that time spent together to travel the state on Decoration Day weekend is a precious time for us.  We laugh together, have longer talks without cattle and chores to distract us, and we catch up on our lives.  I see so many families that almost never interact with each other because everyone has a cell phone, computer, mini-tablet, or DVD in front of them, no matter whether they are at home, in a car, or even in a restaurant.  In other words, we're checking out of our relationships without ever having them.  Why wait to memorialize our people when we are too busy to have one in the first place?  Let's just lay the flowers out now and get back to our devices.

Of course, this is a ridiculous argument to present, but I stand by it.  Mainly, that's because I got a little wake-up about that just a bit ago when my guy and I were leaving a friend's house where eight of us enjoyed a little cookout and outdoor dinner.  The setting was lovely and comfortable and the evening was absolutely perfect, warm enough to call summer without a drop of sweat brought forth.  We all enjoyed the cool evening air as we talked.  As we drove away, Galen, who normally works second shift six to seven nights a week, commented on the lovely night and said, "I hate to think of how many times I've worked through evenings like this."  I knew right away what he meant.  Although he's grateful to have a job where he can work overtime if he wants or needs to, no one should give up all the beautiful times in life. What is more beautiful than loving our people now, while they are here waiting for our time, instead of honoring them after they are gone?

Nothing, nothing can come close to that beauty.  Yes, we should spend time memorializing those we have lost and honoring the fallen.  But the time we spend on, yes, picnics or camping or whatever we do to make memories, is perhaps even more valuable.  I want to honor the living at least as much as I honor the lost.