Look Closely

Who among us is immune to anger?  It's so easy to get a good, fiery dose of it, almost any time we please.  An hour in city construction traffic, a conversation that goes astray and becomes an argument, an unfinished task assigned to a child or a co-worker----almost anything can set some people off.  I am myself a little slow to anger, but then I hit a limit, and FLASH! it's suddenly a bonfire almost out of control.  Some days get like that when I'm hit with several things successively.  Usually, though, it's just garden-variety frustration from being asked to repeat the same directions 1,000 times (or at least to every student individually) or from not planning ahead carefully and therefore creating a crisis for myself.   As long as I don't hold a grudge (and that is a topic for another week; I have a little problem with that), I almost always forget the episode within a few hours, a day at the most.

The last couple of weeks have been frustrating for me, mostly due to major dental work that has been more painful than anything else I've ever had---and I have had tens of thousands of dollars of dental work.  I'm at 12 days out from the procedure and still popping pain pills like Skittles.  Plus, I took on of my cats to a new veterinarian this week and picked her up two days later, with a bill of over $400.  But yesterday looked to be a good day.  I didn't have school, I had the last of my physical therapy sessions for my shoulder, and I would be seeing a relative that I used to be close to but hadn't seen in over nine years. 

Maybe I was careless because I was thinking about all that, or maybe I finally just fell victim to the blind spot in my CRV.  Either way, I pulled into a parking space at the physical therapy clinic and realized that the car next to me had parked in two spaces, putting me in two spaces as well.  There was a whole space next to me, so I backed up to move over into that spot....until I heard a terrible scrape/crunch.  To my horror, I had backed into a big, shiny pickup, the kind that usually comes with a big, shiny ego.  I pulled up into the space and dashed inside to ask the people sitting at the front if they knew who it belonged to.  They said, "Not yet," and kind of grinned.  I knew they had heard it, but I didn't have time to be mad at them for smirking.  I went up to one of the therapists and asked her if the gentleman she was working with had a big pickup.  She said yes, and she would let him know what was going on and come out with him when he was done in a few minutes.

I went outside and looked over the damage.  There were several bad scrapes to the paint on my vehicle, but no major dents.  The pickup looked a little scraped up, but I also know that all kinds of damage can be hidden (or "found") in situations like this.  I had no idea what to expect---especially when the therapist walked out with a big, burly-looking bearded fellow.  But then, to my surprise.....

He walked up laughing.  He said something to the effect of, "Shoot, hon, I can buff that right out.  Don't you worry about it at all.  I'm sure not worried about it."  I think after the first sentence my mouth was hanging open, and all I could say was, "Really?"  He said, "This is nothing, girl.  It's my wife's truck anyway.  I can fix it right up."  I asked him to wait just a second and stepped over to my car to get a piece of paper.  I wrote out my number and name and said, "Here, take this, just in case.  You might change your mind.  And thank you so much."  He laughed and said, "It's fine.  God bless you."  Still a little dazed, I went in for my appointment, shaking my head and remarking to the therapist, "What a kind, generous man."  She smiled at me wisely and said, "God is speaking to him."  She explained, without any confidences revealed, that he had been going through terrible trauma due to a fatal accident that he was involved in but not responsible for earlier in the year.  This, relatively speaking, was nothing in comparison.  But he had been speaking lately about prayer and forgiveness with her.  She said she felt that he'd demonstrated something he needed to express with his actions. 

I started my paces for my therapy, and about 15 minutes in, my cell phone rang.  It was the man's wife.  She asked if this was Cathy, and I said it was.  I still hadn't learned my lesson; I thought, "Oh, no, here it comes.  She's going to be really angry at me AND her husband for letting me off the hook."  No.  This wonderful woman told me her name, and said, "I just wanted to let you know that everything is just fine, sweetie.  I know if this had happened to me, I'd be in a panic.  But my husband has done body work for years and he won't have any problem with this.  Don't you worry one bit."  I thanked her, using her name, and told her to have a wonderful day.  "You, too, honey, you too.  And God bless you." 

I tell you, friends, I never felt so unworthy of a blessing----and so grateful.

It's so easy to get caught up in the ugly of the world, whether it's of our own doing or someone else's.  We seem to feel justified in getting up a good head of steam and spewing it around for all to witness.  How much happier it is to look for the good and to share THAT with everyone we come across!  I want to be that person, the one who finds the gem buried in a dull rock---the kindness, love, and generosity of spirit that everyone is capable of, if only we look closely.