The Muses, it seems, decided not to bless me this evening. I wrote four painful paragraphs of blah before deciding that topic wasn't going to work out. That brought me to this crossroads of 10:12 p.m. and nothing cohesive in mind for a full blog. What to do, what to do? Ah, this: I have a running, changing list of questions I plan on asking the Big Guy when I get to heaven. I bet you do, too, readers. Here's a sampling of my intended conversation starters with God:
Wasn't it possible to make broccoli taste like chocolate cake and cooked spinach as creamy as Edy's ice cream? Couldn't fish have been as appetizing as pizza?
Why spiders? Why TICKS?! What were you thinking!?!
What's the timeline on finding cures for cancer and diabetes? I have more than a few horses in this race, and I'd sure like to get a hot tip on this one.
Am I completely justified in hating hot weather? Doesn't that just say that I have an instinctive understanding of why to turn away from hell?
Other than having to flood the earth to start over and all, what's your worst mistake?
I know you have a great sense of humor. Who's your favorite comedian?
What's your thinking on separation of church and state, just for the record?
Are the special-needs people in the world the normal ones, and the rest of us the special ones? They sure seem to have the better outlook on life, and much better dispositions. Or, possibly, are they the angels?
Who you feel more leniency toward, the Christians who have mistaken passing judgement on their brothers for Godliness, or the Christians who don't work hard enough at calling others out over their sins?
Do things like the current Mayan end-of-days craze piss you off, or do you just wave it off as another of man's daily foibles?
Don't you occasionally get tired of the incessant prayer requests and just turn off the line for a while, or do you hand it over to Michael or Gabriel? Someone should invent an app for that.
And right now, the question uppermost in my mind: will inspiration return to me in time for next week's work here? Please? Just a tiny bit of supplication while I have your ear.
I sure hope it does. And even more, I hope God really does have that excellent sense of humor, or I may be in a little hot water here.
One of my recurring thoughts about conversations with God has to do with my intense dislike for mushrooms. I envision throngs of people waiting for Him to appear on the steps of the Whiter Than Snow House to address the newcomers. He steps out, we wait to hear the answer to life's most baffling mysteries and He begins:
ReplyDelete"People, people-WHICH one of you decided that picking up and eating one of those nasty things was a good idea??? I never intended that, trust me. Seriously, trust me!"
I am sure that He chuckles often at us. Whether it is in actual delight at our outstanding wit or utter disbelief at our naivete, well...add that to your list of questions.
Mushrooms! Bleck! I am completely confident that He never meant for us to willingly eat fungi. Makes perfect sense as a starting place when everyone gathers---might as well start from the ground up!
ReplyDeleteI was just gathering laundry a few minutes ago and thinking how I had missed any number of questions that should be listed. Conversations II to follow somewhere down the line....